Learning to Run in Heels
They say the most powerful position in any negotiation is the ability to walk (or run) away.
I love my heels.
If you know me, or have seen me around, I rock nearly every kind of heel they make.
I wear my favourites so much that I have to have the rubber ends of the heels replaced every season at my local shoe repair joint. Power walking to serve my caffeine addiction via emergency espresso takes a toll!
I also get comments about my heels sometimes from others such as, “how can you wear those all day??” or, “can I offer you a seat?” Maybe my swagger those days weren’t quite as smooth as I thought.
The truth is, I wear heels for two big reasons.
Because I’m a ‘look queen’ and always have been since I was a little girl. My ‘look’ is my art and shoes are essential to completing the creation. It’s part of my personal brand.
Because I feel damn powerful and confident standing on my left and right foot soap boxes when I use my voice. (also part of my brand).
It’s important for me to approach challenging or nerve-wracking situations with a powerful intent and presence. I can access more courage and brilliance when I am feeling like a powerhouse and my heels signal that I am in smash-mode.
Smash a keynote.
Smash a boardroom meeting.
Smash a great deal with a changemaking client.
However, I have learned how to run in heels over time and not just because of the emergency espressos. Because sometimes, when I get into those challenging and nerve-wracking situations where I might be unsure about how my message will be received, or about the true character of the other party, I need to run, not walk, away.
There is a certain power in removing yourself from situations that don’t honour you.
How many times have you gulped your way through a meeting? Wiggled uncomfortably in your chair during a presentation? Cringed as you listened to someone patronize you?
This past year, I took on a commitment to adopt and live the phrase “it’s a privilege to work with me”. I know, I know, that old feeling of inflated ego or whatever other bullshit we have swallowed up came up for me too when I first said it out loud. But, when I started living this way, everything changed.
My worth didn’t have to be connected to my performance.
My value didn’t have to be shared with just anyone.
My work was held for those that would respect and honour it.
My motto for 2021 became Devotion to my Divinity.
And so, I learned to walk, or rather run, away, if necessary. I walked away with an intentionality from situations, deals, work or people that didn’t feel like they were for me. I walked away If they made me feel like my worth was in question or that it wasn’t enough. I walked away if I felt that I wasn’t enough.
I developed the power and ability to walk away and to use NO as a complete sentence.
I still struggle with wanting to rationalize the NO as I back out of a room, but I’m working on it. It’s a process, and it’s ongoing.
Now, when I wear my heels, it reminds me to bring that intention and commitment into my presence with others. And when I replace the rubber ends on my stilettos, it reminds me of all the pain and deflation I avoided by power walking away.
The simple connection of this symbol and mindset is a tool I use nearly every day. It’s part of my armour, my safety deposit box, and my inner notification system. I encourage you this year to find a symbol that can bring you back to yourself and help protect you and keep you safe. I hope it reminds you regularly that you are worth it. You are divine. Born this way Lady Gaga level shit.
Be reminded. Hold your power. Normalize No. And strut your way right outta what doesn’t serve you or honour you. Take this attitude and energy into 2022 changemakers.
Learn to run in heels.
Ché
